


The Time A Science Pick Up Line Actually Worked

by samwho



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealous Tony, Jealousy, M/M, Natasha is scary, Oblivious Bruce, Science Boyfriends, Science Pick-Up Lines, Tony is jealous, bruce wears a tight shirt, but they work, clint checks him out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 16:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1273642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwho/pseuds/samwho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or Bruce Banner's purple shirt shrinks in the wash.<br/>Tony Stark is jealous of the attention he gets.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Time A Science Pick Up Line Actually Worked

After talking Bruce out of leaving Stark Tower a total of three times, Tony was rather satisfied that his science bro counterpart finally felt secure enough to stay. Although Bruce vehemently refused any special treatment, and any gifts (especially of the expensive kind), Tony had insisted on purchasing some clothes so he wasn’t scarred for life by Bruce walking around naked. (Not that Tony would really mind, but much to his dismay, Bruce accepted the clothes with only 4 words of protest, none of which were “I like being nude.”).

Tony Stark was a man of many luxuries, one of which, he assured Bruce, was hiring staff to do the laundry. To his dismay, Bruce still insisted on doing things for himself (“I’m a billionaire! I could get someone to cut your toe nails for you!” Needless to say, this was no help in persuading Banner). Bruce always fell back on his old argument ("Look Tony, I did all this for myself back in Calcutta, and even if I can't be there right now helping I can at least act the way I did. Old habits die hard,").

While Tony was still avidly opposed with this custom of Bruce’s, he let it rest.

That is, until one day something went wrong.

No one's entirely sure whether the washing machine malfunctioned ("A broken washing machine? In Stark tower, invented by a genius engineer? As if!"), or if Bruce did something wrong ("I'm a pro at this. I pretty much have a PhD in laundry,"), but Bruce's purple shirt shrank in the wash. Not a huge amount, but enough to be a fitted shirt.

Bruce Banner usually wore his shirts big and baggy for comfort, and the fact that he had long ago stopped even trying to look attractive (the Other Guy always put a damper on prospective relationships), meant that when he went to the kitchen in a purple shirt hugging his biceps, it was quite a change. In the morning, he had realised that his shirt felt slightly smaller, but he wasn’t fussed about it, especially as Tony would probably buy him another 20 if he complained.

Natasha and Clint, who had been engaging in a game of footsie while discussing something serious in hushed tones, looked up to greet the doctor but instead just stared. Of course, being spies their poker face quickly replaced the look of confusion, but they both seemed to be having a telepathic conversation:

**I didn’t know Banner worked out.**

_It’s odd._

**Not bad a bad look though.**

_Not bad at all._

 

Steve walked in at this moment, and being the patron saint of all things good and American, when he saw how Bruce was reaching up for his favourite mug (and unwittingly flexing his muscles), he turned a faint shade of pink and helped him.

“Good morning Dr. Banner”

“Morning Steve,” Bruce replied with a short nod, before turning to the toaster. He didn’t realise that the other three Avengers were taking in the how his purple shirt accentuated the strength in his forearms. As Bruce walked to the kitchen island with a plate of toast, Natasha was observing how his back muscles _rippled_ as he moved.

“Didn’t know this was a shelter for lost superheroes,” Tony grinned as he walked through the door, making sure to wink at Bruce because the man already had enough doubts about living there as it was. When Tony looked away from Bruce, his brain had caught up with his eyes and did a double take.

He ogled at the scientist, completely unrestricted as the target of his attention was oblivious, even when Natasha sensed what was happening and smirked at Tony.

Bruce looked **_hot_**. Tony of course knew this, he saw Bruce working in his lab every day, sometimes muttering variables to himself, and he’d be lying is he said it didn’t make him want to turn Bruce around and make him turn his attention to Tony, but today it was unquestionable. The purple shirt that brought out Bruce’s eyes suddenly brought out a little something of Tony’s too.

Meanwhile, Bruce finally looked up when he became conscious of the fact that all conversation in the kitchen had ground to a halt.

“Tony? Are you alright?”

Snapped out of his trance by his friend’s words, Tony blinked, licked his lips and stuttered “U-uh, yeah yeah. Just had a genius thought, you know how it is.”

Bruce rolled his eyes, but gave him a small fond smile (oh how Tony loved that smile) despite himself.

“Looking good Banner,” Barton said casually, as though it was a comment on the weather, which made Bruce’s reaction of flushing bright red and spluttering for a few moments even more hilarious. Even Steve laughed a little at the sight of the befuddled doctor (of course he covered up the laugh with a hasty cough).

Tony, suddenly aware that there were others in the room (who were probably experiencing the same feelings as him), stalked over and sat right next to his science bro. No way in hell was Robin Hood flirting with his doctor. Tony was suddenly hyperaware of the looks Natasha and Steve were sending Bruce's way, and he didn't know whether to smirk at them or yell at them.

Bruce, who still had no clue of the effect he was having, struck up a conversation with Tony about the latest theory in particle engineering. Soon, the other Avengers were background noise as Tony and Bruce debated what could be achieved with this breakthrough.

Clint, who had somehow managed to stay quiet during the exchange, finally snorted and said “Get a room,” before collapsing into a fit of giggles. Natasha cranked up the power of her death glare to maximum before she dragged the archer out of the room, but not before saying “You two should sort it out.”

Steve was still in the room, looking increasingly uncomfortable, as though he could feel the sexual tension in the room rising and managed to gasp out “Congratulations,” before rushing out.

Frowning, Bruce turned to face Tony “What are they talking about?”

Despite popular belief, Anthony Edward Stark is not a man of great speeches when it comes to talking about his feelings, so he told Bruce the truth the only way he knew how.

“Are you a scientist? Because I lab you.”

A multitude of expressions passed across Bruce’s face, from cringing to disbelief to ecstasy.

“Did you just-?”

“Yep.”

Tony wasn’t sure what would happen next, Bruce could completely reject him and their friendship would be jeopardised forever. What was he thinking? It was a fundamental rule of life that science pick up lines never worked, so when Bruce’s fingertips grazed his cheeks, Tony’s was surprised to say the least, and when their lips met, Tony was silently thanking all the nerdy innuendo gods out there.

**Author's Note:**

> I went on a sort of otp rampage and read tons of Stanner fics, so here is my contribution.
> 
> p.s. I snuck in scared-of-sexy-times-lol-what's-happening Steve hehehA
> 
> \- Sam


End file.
